Oh Stupid Scar!
by veld
Summary: It’s summer after Harry’s 5th year - strange things happen.... Can a single dream get any weirder? [CHAPTER SEVEN IS UP! :D]
1. A Dream

Disclaimer: JK Rowling owns these characters. This is just a simple, non-profitable, fan fiction. I just screwed up the plot for fun.

**__**

Note: You have to read the fifth book to understand this!

Oh Stupid Scar!

__

It's summer after Harry's 5th year - strange things happen…..

"Great, I'm back in this bloody place."

Harry's life wasn't going pretty well. His fifth year at Hogwarts was probably the worst year ever. His DADA teacher was poison-minded, Draco was prefect, Sirius died and he had to face Voldemort again - Can it get any worse?

Well, at least it was so bad every second of his life. He had great friends, and friends are usually important in life, right?

Harry laid down in bed, trying to be optimistic. Maybe next year would be better. Maybe next year he can play quidditch again. Hey, at least the Dursleys are showing a little more respect than usual..

He fell asleep.

"Master?"

Harry sat up, his vision blurred.

"Master, you okay?"

For some reason that voice sounded familiar..

"Why are you calling me master? Who are you?" said Harry.

"… Are you feeling alright sir?"

"I don't know, I can't see very well."

"Maybe you need glasses."

"I have glasses, don't I? Where am I? I was at Privet Dri-"

"What? Master! You need help."

"Huh? For the last time stop calling me…"

Harry woke up. His vision was back to normal and he saw himself in his room, sitting up in bed. Harry stayed in the same position, confused and stayed silent for a while.


	2. A Reality?

"But.."

"Stop it Wormtail, you're scaring me!" said a cold voice.

"Master…. - wait, I scared you?"

"No, um, never mind. Something obviously has gone wrong," said Voldemort. He rubbed his forehead and had a terrible headache. "You said, that I said, I have… glasses?"

"Yes, master, that's what you said," said Wormtail.

There was a short silence, then they realized something.

"POTTER!" they said in unison.

"That four-eyed, snotty, bloody, - oh - brat! He's going to pay…" said Voldemort, in disgust.

"…. My Lord, you have a plan?" asked Wormtail.

"………. Um, no, not yet."

****

"Oh…. No, please tell me that wasn't Wormtail," said Harry, to himself.

He actually controlled Voldemort this time! That could mean the evil nimrod could control him! He should contact the Order of the Phoenix, now!

He went downstairs and dialed the number that few of the members gave to him last year.

_Ring._

Ring.

"Um, Hello? Anyone there?" said a voice.

"Yeah, this is Harry," said, well, Harry.

"Oh, Harry! What's wrong?"

"I - Wait a minute, who is this?"

"Arthur Weasley."

"Oh, okay, just making sure. Anyway, I had this dream - Well, it wasn't a dream."

"….What did you see this time?"

"Well, I didn't just _see_ this time, it's really weird."

"And?"

"…….. And I actually controlled Voldemort this time."

There was a long silence.

"Are you still there?" said Harry.

"Huh? Oh! Yes, yes, I'm still here, just…. Um… Surprised. I'll talk to the Order about it."

****

_Ring._

Ring.

"Thank goodness the Dursleys aren't here yet," muttered Harry in his Pajamas.

_Rin-_

"Hello? Who is this?" he said.

"Tonks, listen Harry, try not to sleep as much as possible."

"….. So I can't sleep?"

"You can but not too long…. Oh, yeah, Snape says you should, um, clear your mind or something."

"Okay, good night."

"Night, Harry. Don't forget."

"Don't worry, I won't."

He hang up and went to bed. He tried to clear his mind like Tonks said.

He fell asleep.

****

(Me: *YAWN* I have to go to sleep too. Maybe just some more… Nah, too sleepy. Must Rest…. Night all.)


	3. Very, Very Weeeeird

(Me: I've awaken! Time for some more confusion! :D)

****

Harry woke up again with his vision blurred, again. He felt taller for some reason and his face felt… um… old. Everything was still blurry, but he couldn't find his glasses. There was a funny feeling inside that this isn't his room. Was he kidnapped? No, he must be dreaming again. However, he was awake and for sure.

"This is just too weird," he said with a cold voice. Cold voice? What?

****

Voldemort felt smaller and realized he was wearing glasses… Since when did he wear glasses? Everything was clearer when he took them off. When he did take them off, he noticed that he wasn't in his hide-out, it was another room. He looked outside a window and realized he was in a neighborhood. What? A neighborhood? First the glasses and now this? Wait a minute…. Glasses and neighborhood….

"AHHH!! I'm in Harry's -" he twitched at the name, "bedroom," he said, "Wait a minute, it can't be that simple."

He looked around and saw a mirror. He stood in front of it and realized he was Harry.

"AHHHHHHHH!!! HARRY!!!" he twitched, " I AM HARRY!?!" he twitched, "NO!" he yelled, "Okay, Voldemort, calm down, calm down, you have to contact Wormtail! Or… Myself? Yeah, then let Harry" he twitched, "know that he's inside a killer's body.. Ha, this is insane."

****

Harry still couldn't see well, however, he has a pretty good idea where he was. He thought he was dreaming and controlling Voldemort again. He heard Wormtail coming into the room.

"Master?" he asked.

"Yeah?" Harry replied.

"Did you say something?"

"Uh, no, and Wormtail?"

"Yes, Master?"

"I'm not your master."

"Harry?"

"Yeah, you noticed?"

Wormtail left and shut the door. 

"Okay, I guess that's a yes.." said Harry.

****


	4. A Solution?

****

"Okay, how am I suppose to contact Wormtail?" muttered Voldemort to himself. He looked around for a while and eventually saw a white snowy owl, sleeping.

"AHA! I'll just use his owl! Now all I need is a piece of parchment."

He found a piece of parchment on Harry's desk, along with a bottle of ink.

"Perfect! Ha ha ha ha!"

He wrote:

_Wormtail or whoever gets this,_

I'm inside Harry's cursed body!! HELP ME! I'm somewhere at this street called Privet Drive. Oh, by the way, DO NOT LISTEN TO THAT DIMWIT THAT STOLE MY BODY!

The Dark Lord

He folded it and knocked on the bird's cage.

"Arrr! Wake up you stupid, stupid bird!"

Hedwig slowly open her eyes.

"Alright then! Can you please send this to my hou- er, I mean, Riddle's house?"

Voldemort open the cage but Hedwig didn't move. The owl didn't like the word stupid and eyed the Harry-look-alike person suspiciously: He wasn't wearing glasses.

"Come on! Please? This is important!"

Hedwig still didn't move.

"YOU STUPID BIRD!! CAN YOU SEND THIS LETTER??"

Hedwig flew outside her cage but didn't pick the letter.

"ARGH!!"

Voldemort tried to grab Hedwig but the owl eventually went outside to hunt for mice instead of dealing with the not-wearing-glasses-crazy-Harry.

"Darn it!"

****

Harry was still inside the same room, but this time he heard whispers behind the door.

"Wormtail is this some kind of joke?" said a voice that sounded like Lucius Malfoy.

"No! It's not! I swear!"

"Lucius, maybe we should go inside and see if he's lying or not," Harry guessed that was Bellatrix's voice.

"Are you insane? The Dark Lord is in there!!! Don't you realize that he's depressed about what happened last year? If we go in there he'll demolish us all!" said Lucius.

_They don't even know that I'm Harry inside Voldemort's body! _Harry thought to himself.

"That's not the Dark Lord!!" said Wormtail.

_Maybe if they find out, they'll try to kill me or something. Maybe I should act like I'm Voldemort,_ thought Harry. He tried to find his way to the door since he's nearly blind.

"How would you know anyway?" said Lucius.

Harry finally got to the door.

"Fools…. What the hell are you doing there? Talking behind my back!"

He opened it, and Lucius and Bellatrix backed away in fear.

"We're sorry My Lord!" said Bellatrix.

"Well, just go away, I wish to have some silence."

Lucius and Bellatrix bowed and walked away, quickly.

"Uh, Harry -"

"Don't say that name!!" Harry snapped.

_Wow, I'm doing pretty good,_ thought Harry.

"Master?" squeaked Wormtail.

"Yes, of course it's me!"  
"But, Harry -"

"Don't say that cursed, bloody name!! Can't I just have some silence for a day?"

Harry went back into the bedroom and shut the door. He tried not to laugh.


	5. A Broom and Room of evil

Disclaimer: Blah, Blah, Blah, I don't own Harry Potter, Blah, No profit, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Blah, Don't sue me.

****

"A FIREBOLT!! YESH!" shouted Voldemort, "Now I can fly the heck outta here!"

He grabbed the Firebolt and ran downstairs. Uncle Veron was there.

"What do you think you're doing?" he said.

"Who are you?" said the fake Harry.

"You know who I am, boy."

"No, I don't."

"I'm not in the mood for games."

"I'm not playing any games."

"Stop it!"

"Stop what?"

"STOP TALKING!"

Voldemort took a step back from the yelling. That person knew how to yell really, really loud.

"Sorry," hissed Voldemort. For some reason he didn't like saying sorry to anyone. He felt like a child when he did so.

Well, he's a child now.

"Um, sir, can I step out for some air?" he said.

"Oh, yeah, get out for all I care! Enough floating desserts, pig tails and flying cars for one day! Darn it, why don't you slam into a brick wall?" replied Veron hatefully.

If Voldemort had a wand right now, he would turn that guy into a brick wall.

"Whatever," said Voldemort lazily, not bothering to do anything since he didn't have a wand. Finally, he went outside and found a place to fly without being seen by muggles.

It been a long time since he mounted on his broom. One time, in his first year at Hogwarts, he mounted on a broom, but then it started to whack his head. He actually flew on one for the first time… but then it nearly killed him. On his third year he gave up completely and thought the broom as a stupid toy. Now, he was about to fly on one, once again. What was the broom going to do this time?

"Okay, you can do this, you can do this…" said Voldemort to himself. 

He mounted on a broom, kick off the ground, flew into a tree.

"OOOWWWW!!!!"

****

Harry, once again, was in the same, dusty, old, bedroom…. How boring. He was always the heroic Hogwarts student, but now, he couldn't even see a thing. If he only had his glasses…. Wait a minute, there was a wand next to him. Yes, he recognized the blurry stick.. He could summon his glasses! He grabbed the wand and said the magic words.

_"Accio Glasses!"_

It took quite a while for it to come but it came! He put his glasses on and saw the room much better.

Well, he was in a gothic-like place.

The walls were painted gray, the furniture was all black, the bed was black and green, and there was a bunch of floating candles… with black-colored wax and green flames. It was like a Slytherin's dream bed room. There was a bunch of objects that were unknown to Harry. Though, he saw a lot of books that mostly seemed to be related to jinxes, hexes and charms.

"Weird," he muttered.

There was a knock on the door.

"What?" said Harry, taking his glasses off.

"Master, are you hungry?"

"Uh, yeah."

"Well, um, I have some Chinese."

"Chinese?"

"Yeah, is that bad?"

"Uh, no."

"Okay then, I'll be back with some food."

****

"SEE LUCIUS??? SEE!?! I TOLD YOU!!" shouted Wormtail.

"I don't believe it, Potter? Here?" said Lucius.

Bellatrix gave out a snort, "as if the dark lord wanted Chinese…"

"What should we do?" said Wormtail.

"Easy, we'll take the imposter as a prisioner," yawned Bellatrix.

"Uh… Brilliant!" said Wormtail.

"What about the original dark lord?" asked Lucius.

"Uh… Um… Well… Hey, I thought you were the genius! What am I, the Leader?" said Bellatrix nervously.

****

"Ow…. Ow… OW!!!"

Voldemort was too busy picking pointy, sharp, leaves from his head. He wasn't sure if he was going to try to fly again. Maybe he should find Harry's wand and Apparate.

"Ow."

That's a good idea.

"Ow."

****

A/N : Ah yes, another chapter… Oh, wait, this one is longer! Awsome.

Oh, yeah, by the way:

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V Please click on that sweet, little, button and review so I know that you all are still alive o.o


	6. The Pause of Confusion

****

Voldemort went digging into Harry's stuff, again. Let's see… Socks, shoes, socks, shirts, no wand yet, Quidditch-themed socks, Books…. BOOKS!! Hogwarts stuff! The wand must be nearby. Voldemort dug through more stuff, excitedly.

"WAND!! YES!! FINALLY!!" he shouted.

"DON'T SAY THAT WORD!" said Uncle Veron, from downstairs.

"What??"

"You heard me!! NO magical words!!"

Voldemort was getting tired of the old man's talk. Then, he had an evil grin.

_Maybe I shouldn't kill him… Nah, I'll just turn him into a hog or something… Or a brick wall… Hahaha….. A brick wall… Or make him slam into a brick wall… MAWHAHAHA!!_

"HA! - Oops."

****

Harry's stomach was growling. It would be nice if Wormtail could actually bring Harry some food.

There was a knock on the door.

"Hungry, sir?" said Wormtail.

"Yeah, didn't I just say that?"

"Yes, POTTER!"

The door burst open and the three death eaters came in.

"You thought you can get away it, eh?" said Wormtail.

"Uh…"

"You thought you can fool us, right?" said Lucius.

"Um… I -"

"Well you can't!" said Bellatrix.

Bellatrix and Lucius pointed their wands at Harry but Wormtail didn't.

"Wait! Wait! That's the dark lord's body! Do you know how mad he'll be when he finds out that _he _has been charred or something?"

The other two death eaters were silent for a while, then they lowered their wands. Then, there was a long silence.

…

"Uh.. Maybe I'll just… um… go or something.." said Harry.

"HOLD IT!! YOU ARE GOING NO WHERE!!" screamed Bellatrix.

"Yeah! Just because you're - uh - you-know-who - doesn't mean you can just walk out of here!" said Wormtail.

The three death eaters walked out the room and locked Harry inside.

****

"So, how can we fix this mess?" sighed Bellatrix.

They were outside, in a graveyard.

"Do you think this can be undone, Bella?" asked Wormtail.

"Well, yeah I guess. I mean, they actually switched brains. I think they can switch back.," said Bellatrix.

"True," said Lucius, "Wormtail, Harry switched brains after he woke up right?"

"Right," said Wormtail.

"So, maybe after they sleep again, they can re-switch," said Lucius.

"Oh brilliant! Why didn't I think of that?"

"What if the brat doesn't sleep? What if Harry gets an idea of completely taking over the dark lord?" asked Bellatrix.

There was a short silence.

"Oh, well… Uh, maybe we'll just see what happens or give him a sleeping potion." said Wormtail.

"What if the dark lord is awake? Doesn't he have to sleep at the same time?"

Again, short silence. However, someone else was there.

"What makes you think I have to sleep you simple-minded fools?" said a cold, yet childish voice.

The three death eaters look at a person who looked exactly like Harry.

"Potter - what? But -" said a shocked Lucius.

"I'm not Potter you idiots."

Once again, there was a short silence.

"Um, master?" asked Wormtail

"Right," said the fake Harry.

"Dark lord?" asked Lucius

"Yeah."

"Sir?" asked Bellatrix.

"Uh-Huh, yeah."

Short silence.

"Um, you're really looking, - uh, - short today, sir," said Bellatrix.

"… Yeah, this is getting on my last nerve." said Voldemort.

"Sorry."

"Don't worry about it, Bella. Where's that potter kid? Oh, he's going to pay…"

Author: Sorry if I accidentally made a cliff-hanger, I didn't mean to actually. o_o; I just wanted to save the insanity for the next chapter. Oh, by the way, When you review, please just click ONCE, not a hundred times like one person did. o.o It was scary….


	7. Harry gets his Way

_The Writer's Block has now dissapeared!_   
  


Voldemort, Bellatrix, Lucius, and Wormtail, were still discussing their evil, dark, crazy plans outside.

"So, we'll give the brat and you a sleeping potion, you sleep at the same time, and you'll switch back to your normal selves! How does that sound sir?" asked Wormtail.

"Pitiful.. I have a better idea," said Voldemort.

"... Really?" asked Bellatrix.

"Yes, you see, we don't have to switch back..."

"WHAT? Are you mad? Then -" said Lucius.

"Then _I_ will be the boy who lived!" said Voldemort.

The Death Eaters were silent and confused. Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad idea. The Dark Lord can just run around Hogwarts and kill everyone. After he's done with Hogwarts, he can just go and take over the world. Everyone will bow down to him. The idea was almost flawless.

"And... What about Harry, sir?" said Lucius.

Voldemort looked like he was having a seizure for a minute.

"OH! I'm so sorry sir! Curse his name..." said Lucius.

"Thanks a lot, Lucius..." muttered Wormtail.

Voldemort stopped twitching and he yelled "Oh Merlin I HATE that name. He spoiled my plans FIVE TIMES ALREADY! FIVE TIMES! CURSE HIM! CUR-"

"SIR! It's alright! We'll get him this time! Please! Calm down!" shouted Wormtail.

Voldemort stopped, fell and looked at the floor. Again, there was a long silence.

Bellatrix was the first one who broke the annoying silence, "Uh, um, sir, I seriously think this plan of yours will work. Maybe you won't kill Ha- I mean, the brat, but it does give you a chance to fool Dumbledore and kill him."

"I agree, it's better than aiming for Harry first. You can just kill Dumbledore and the teachers, and then no one will be there to protect him," said Lucius.

"Yeah, you're right," mumbled Voldemort.

"So! Maybe we should lock the brat in the basement," said Wormtail.

"Yes, that'll be bloody scary for him, and he'll starve too," said Bellatrix.

They all laughed like maniacs.

  


****

  


Meanwhile, Harry wasn't sure what to do while he was in Voldemort's room. If he got out he might get caught. So for the past twenty minutes he has been sitting around, holding the Dark Lord's wand, and doing nothing but staring at the floor. Then he heard footsteps, then he hid himself under the bed. Afterwards the door swung open.

"Oh Harry! We want to talk to - Oh my gosh, I'm sorry master! I didn't mean to say it..." said Bellatrix.

"Arrr! JUST FIND HIM! I can't believe you idiots left him in my room! Argh!" said Voldemort in disgust.

Now Harry's mind was in panic. He started wishing the Order would get here... And they didn't... Darn. Something had to be done. He had his wand but he couldn't think of any spells. His eyes looked around the room. He mostly saw feet and this green rug, but then he spotted a snake which was sleeping... Nagini. A crazy idea just came to his mind.

Harry accioed, (summoned,) the snake, rolled out from under the bed, and stood up with his hand grabbing the snake's neck, with the wand pointing at her head.

"EVERYONE STAY STILL OR VOLDEMORT'S SNAKE GETS IT!" shouted Harry.

Everyone froze. The Death Eaters knew how much Nagini meant to Voldemort. The Dark Lord's, (or, shall we say Harry's,) eyes widened.

"Not Nagini... Anything but Nagini..." he said as if he sounded like he was about to cry.

Harry smiled, "Then let me out of here," he said.

"No way!" said Wormtail.

"Then Nagini gets it -" said Harry but then interrupted.

"IF YOU EVEN DARE..." yelled Voldemort.

"Oh, don't worry, I would, believe me. I was getting sick of this slimey, silthering, -" again, interrupted.

"DO NOT TALK TO HER LIKE THAT!!" roared Voldemort, who had water in his Harry-like eyes.

Harry blinked, "Are you... crying?"

"No! It's your stupid eyes!"

"But..."

"OH FOR MERLIN'S SAKE JUST GIVE ME NAGINI!!"

"After I get out of here!"

Harry ran out of the room, still holding Nagini. She was awake so Harry was afraid of being bitten by her. However, he didn't know that Nagini was confused from all of that yelling, so she didn't feel like biting anyone. Anyhow, Harry was trying to get out of the building. He was going through a bunch of halls and rooms, not knowing where was the exit.

"LET GO OF NAGINI! NOW!!" yelled Voldemort, who was far behind Harry.

"NEVER!" shouted Harry.

Bellatrix came in front of Harry through a hallway on the right, but Harry just kicked her in the stomach and ran over her. "That one was for Sirius!" said Harry and kept on running.

Harry finally found the exit to outside and started running like the wind. Surprisingly, through the misty wasteland, he found several wizards from the Order.

"It's the Dark Lord!" shouted Tonks.

"GET HIM!" shouted Dumbledore.

A ton of spells started flying at Harry, but fortunatly he fell on his back and the spells just flew over him.

"You don't understand, it's me! HARRY!" shouted Harry.

"Yeah right! And I'm Merlin, where is the boy who actually lived? TELL US!!" shouted Arthur Weasley.

"YOU ARE STARING RIGHT AT HIM!! Mr. Weasley! You remember what I told you about my dream, right?" asked Harry.

There was a short silence and the Order was confused.

"Oh Merlin, I really think it is Harry," said Arthur.

"You're... Joking... Right?" said Tonks.

"No, Tonks, it's Harry, I read his mind now," said Dumbledore.

"Good Lord, I can't believe _that's_ Harry!" said Lupin in absolute shock.

".... Is that Nagini in your hand?" asked Dumbledore.

  
  
Author's Note: Whew, that was a lot of typing... I hope you all enjoyed it! :D And yes, I'll be writing again soon. 


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